God Bless Spock

2015-Mar-02, Monday 10:07 pm
thisisdesire: GoddessTara (Default)
[personal profile] thisisdesire
I caught myself starring at the ground today while walking down the street and forced myself to straighten up and walk tall. I thought, if I couldn't manage to feel good about myself, at least I could fake it until the feel good part came back.

I looked in the mirror and acknowledged all the shitty things that typically happen inside me when I linger in front of a reflective surface. I smiled and thought nice things mostly for practice. I thought:

You're beautiful.
It's okay. You're okay.
You are more than this body and this skin, but there is nothing wrong with this body or this skin.

I thought:

God bless Spock and his nude pictures of big women.

I'm sure I thought other things, as well, but my poor little brain is just not having it today.

Yesterday the kiddo was feeling self conscious about her stomach, so I leaned over and told her stomach (in a very deep and melodramatic voice) that it was absolutely lovely and should never let anyone tell it different. Then I said something similar to my own belly, you know, so it wouldn't be weird...

I am still managing to avoid saying unkind things about my body, though I have been thinking a lot about my last post and am worried that I wasn't clear in my meaning. See, it's not that I am judging anyone for having unkind thoughts about themselves, or for verbalizing those thoughts. I am just becoming aware of how easy it can be for us to reinforce unrealistic expectations with ourselves, our children, our friends and loved ones, and nearly anyone else we encounter, and rather than feed into that, I would very much like to find kind and compassionate ways to counteract it. Even if that means that the kindest and most compassionate thing I can do is remain silent when I feel like ass.



That's pretty much all for tonight folks. I hope to have better things to say very soon.
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