thisisdesire: GoddessTara (Default)
[personal profile] thisisdesire
Queer marriage became legal in all 50 states yesterday. So, of course, the best way to celebrate is by bedding a straight married man, which I wound up not doing, but came dangerously close. He had an attack of conscience at the last minute (which I suspect was brought on by the fact that I refused to blow him in Krisna's driveway) and opted to simply drive me home.

He spent several minutes apologizing to me and telling me how incredibly mentally healthy I am because I didn't get pissed that we weren't going to have sex. I tried explaining that I had no right. We were strangers and I was trespassing. He owed me absolutely nothing. I told him that I shouldn't get kudos for not being an entitled asshole and he insisted that many people don't see it that way. At that point, we had known each other maybe three hours.

He had spent the bulk of the evening attempting to be charming (which I deflected) and laying the groundwork for transparent possibilities (which I called out and laughed at). He probably thought that I was blatantly rejecting and shaming him, but truthfully I just wanted him to understand that if I took him to bed it would not be because he somehow convinced me that I was special and managed to defy unspeakable odds in order to separate me from my panties (which I wasn't even wearing), but because it suited me to do so.

He told me that I was beautiful, that my eyes were riveting, and that when I touched him...honestly, after all the whiskey I don't clearly remember exactly what he said about his physical response to my hands on him, but I know that it was meant to be a compliment. I did not believe him. It's not that I doubt the general truth of any of those statements, I doubted his sincerity.

I am effected by these events in ways that I am not able to articulate. Much more important and equally trivial things went down. I kissed Krisna multiple times and she acknowledged that it had been building for years. An adorable gay man asked if he could perform our wedding and I said yes, of course. He seemed so excited about it. I didn't have the heart to tell him that we weren't even dating.

Also, I'm pretty sure I sang karaoke with Katie.
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thisisdesire: GoddessTara (Default)
thisisdesire

July 2015

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